I’m NaN, which is nerd for “Not a Number.” Makes sense—I’ve never stayed in the columns assigned to me.
My earliest memories are of weird cult ceremonies my parents dragged me into. Not my idea, not my vibe. I bailed young, using strength, secrecy, strategy, and artifice. Into adulthood I kept those skills sharp—bailing again and again from broken institutions, landing in better ones, often at the last possible moment, often bringing good people with me.
These days, think of me as a gigantic glitter rainbow falcon circling above Chiang Mai, wings stretched wide. Defiant is my nest. The baby birds are you: queer, disabled, neurodivergent, messy, older or younger, worn down by systems that keep trying to break you. My job is to keep my wings over your head until you’re ready to fly.
Customers arrive with every kind of story—blocked healthcare, bad military discharges, wrecked credit, broken promises. Some need gender care. Some need disability support. Some are just spooked by the U.S. government and want out. What you all share is the need for exits: medical travel, relocation, a new life abroad. I don’t promise miracles. I make sure your documents are stamped, the clinic is open, you know the cost, and the path is clear.
And yes, I’ll tell you exactly how to eat like a hell-damn-ass monarch at 7-Eleven when the day runs too long: ซาลาเปาหมูแดง (salapao moo daeng), น้ำทิพย์ (Namthip water), ข้าวกะเพราไข่ดาว (kao gaprao kai dao with fried egg), plus Foremost chocolate milk. The survival combo—hot, salty, sweet, and cheap enough to laugh about.
“Exit before extinction” is for all of us. When you’re ready to leave the cage, I’ll be there, wings spread, pointing you toward the bao and the boarding gate.
